December 24th

One could say this project has fallen by the wayside, seeing as there has not been a post in two weeks. I can't really say why. Finals came about and I was very busy, and I stopped making time for it. I have'nt taken a picture in a while.

Around september, october when this started. I was feeling very unstimulated in my everday life. This blog was an effort to change that. The year will soon be out, things have changed.

And I know very few people look at this, which does'nt bother me. Having two people, and trying to keep an individual name away from it was supposed to keep it from being egotistical. So is posting regardless of viewership.

Perhaps now I am realizing what my collaborator realized some time ago.

I'm not stopping though.

Here'll be some creativitee.

Days 76-79

In the last few days Several friends and I have done some studio-style photo shoots, For the first we hung a blanket up in my room and set up around eight desk lights. We did'nt have any proper hot-lights, so that's what we did. The pictures, I thought were lovely, of Morgan especially, There were a lot of greats though. The problem with this kind of setup is that you develop a very strong sense of context for each picture, the setup becoming more evident with each shot. Does that really detract? I take countless pictures of Jessi & Morgan, does that make each one less impressive? Used to take a lot of pictures of my sister Grace. What do I really care anyway? They were fun to take, and always learning.

I like these two especially

The second shoot was in Mali's bathroom, I was worried about the lights falling in the bath, and painfully ending the lives of very dear friends, thankfully, this was not the case. Nice pictures

My Favorite

A night shot, someone once told me that digital noise was in no way an equivalent to film grain. I disagee, I quite like it. The rest were just taken over the past few days

Day 75

Everything is half fast as I can't stand it as everything I try to do I'm outdone by my expectations

Day 71-74

I took these pictures on Friday night, I edited them on Monday, This is them

This one was in Denver on Sunday, was'nt easy

I was talking to a professional and don't want to be one. At least not in the same degree. I anticipate that at some point I'd hit a block and end up shooting senior pictures in Lafayette for the rest of my life, fuck that

Day 71

The otherness of the other reveals a dimension of "height" (hauteur): he/she comes "from on high."

Day 66-69

On days 66 and 67 I did not do anything. On day 68 I happened by the river where I had written that Keats poem, I took the fifth stanza out of the river and put it back where it should be. The words were still clear and legible, despite being submerged in an icy flow of water for a month or more.

So much of what i do is on a computer, I recently had the understanding that it was all lost. The essays, the poems, the pictures, the music. It turned out to not be the case. Thank Jehovah! In retrospect i am intrigued by how i felt about it. I was very concerned, i was not angry. At first i believed myself to be very pragmatic, sensibly thinking of how to move forward. Later i was upset by the thought that i may in fact be very unimpressed with my past endeavors. Now i think that it is a good thing to respect what has been done, but care more for (what can be done)

Anything?

Day 59 to 65

What happened?

If nothing, many things.

many things=nothing

no,
Many things
It's not a matter of circumstance

hold decision, held tightly does'nt let your cave define you

I was looking for my past, when i went where i thought it would be
i looked left, left again, and again, and nothing was gained
trees still looked the same, the ones for which i knew a name
The birds still bandied blithely about, but not where once they would
i found myself fumbling for fruition
One night was very foggy, i could not see more that 40 feet, it was wonderful and claustrophobic. The outside was the inside and the inside was the inside. i was inside.
A place cannot be connected to my past, it does'nt exist anymore. Someone said to me life is a river, we stand upon stones, look around. There is a current, you cannot go back

Hannah Perkins
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Hannah Perkins
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Every time i look for it it it is there

Marty Albertz eats eats eats Eats EATS

I'm just a fleshy tube -

Alive, Laying down
We don't know you are dying
I am not endless

Spending a lot of time editing images is quickly becoming a norm of my process. I love it, I think it greatly increases my vocabulary and heightens professionalism. It is also very tedious, and could be a crutch for poor shooting. Pictures which are not pre-meditated. None of them are.

I'm excited. There is much to have, and we can all have it and i want it
We said to the other
"There are friends for the road and friends for journey"
And we were right

break take

Day 58

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I have some things, once i sew my heart and fear back in. Gosh I am so scared daniel.

Day 57

On this day I am profoundly enamored of hands, my hands, our hands. the means by which I interact with the world, the cutting edge of the mind, the doer of deeds, that which manifests intent, examines, explores, clutches. To strike out, to hurt. To nurture, touch, caress, carry. To build...

The power is in your hands!

hands : creativity
A creative endeavor it may be, to use hands as never before. take note.

I'm in love, who created that?

Day 56

Nothing Today...

I liked how I looked

I thought better again of this cropping
I'm not sure that I like this picture
In any incarnation

Day 55

The clouds were sailing today, I mean, really, truly, flying through the sky. It was majestic to see as the sun had just gone behind the mountains. I wanted to film it, or take pictures. The truly wonderful thing about it was the scale, How it filled my vision, there was so much to look at. Can that be replicated in art? can that be imitated by art?

Art:
Human effort to imitate, supplement, alter, or counteract the work of nature.

Day 54

Today I sent something away from myself, a grant proposal, and expected more time before it came back, it was returned before the day was out.

As much as i care about this project it is frustrating to not have it off my plate for any time.

Why is it a nuisance to do enthralling work?

Day 53

Friday night was the radio 1190 cross-dressing party. I brought my camera again and took pictures until my battery ran out. The pictures that I liked singled out individuals, group shots just have nothing to them, at least the ones that I took.




Also spent a lot of time on post-production, When to leave well enough alone?



Another note on creativity, I'm not going to take my camera to concerts anymore. The set up is really familiar, and it's just going to be a different person in the same picture again and again. I'm not interested in being a documentarian. Far too often I feel like I am.



what is the difference between taking a photograph, and making a photograph?

(Jessi Whitten took this one ^)

Perhaps it's time to jump ship. Perhaps I don't know how.

I thought better of the cropping on this one

yes i think so of the cropping on that one.

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and asking the difference seems insatiable but therein we find seeking, finding what we have sought, but only with more to seek.